From the Publisher
Publisher : Random House Trade Paperbacks; Reprint edition (February 8, 2022)
Language : English
Paperback : 368 pages
ISBN-10 : 0399590528
ISBN-13 : 978-0399590528
Item Weight : 9.4 ounces
Dimensions : 5.18 x 0.79 x 7.98 inches
Best Sellers Rank: #19 in Memoirs (Books)
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Customer Reviews: 214,927 ratings
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Alicia Schneider –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Extraordinary true story.
This book shows the power of family bonds, religion, and a parent’s mental illness on children who are brilliant despite having no formal schooling as children. It is a sad yet redeeming story for the author.
Carol Gordon –
5.0 out of 5 stars
empowering
Tara did what she had to preserve herself. Many people will learn and support her choice to survive. I did.
Kindle Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars
NOT too crazy to believe
I just finished the book yesterday and after reading some of the negative reviews, I decided to write one, even though there are plenty of 5 star reviews to carry this book. Mine is unlikely to add much value. But I thought I would try. I read several times that her stories and the family members in this book are too outlandish to believe. I can tell you they’re not. To understand this book, you have understand the process of writing and telling a story. Many of the events that Tara speaks of, happened to her years ago. She felt her story was worth being told. In telling her story, she’s had to reconstruct the events from her childhood. Not easy to do. With any memoir, those events have to allow for a certain amount of creative liberty. It is impossible for her to recall those events with complete accuracy. She has to fill in the blanks creatively. Even so, the value of the story is still preserved. There were times that yes, the story felt a bit regurgitated but this is not a piece of literary fiction. It’s the story of her life, so redundancy should be expected. For those that believe these type of people don’t exist, you’re so very wrong. I’ve met families like these. Though she claims it’s not about Mormonism, it is MY personal belief that Mormonism does play an active role in the behaviors of her family, especially within her father, though it isn’t the ONLY factor. However, I would say that it’s more fundamentalism, without the polygamy. And overall Mormon attitudes are often displayed in her parents behaviors. Modern Mormons won’t want to acknowledge the parallels but if you’re Mormon and being honest with yourself, you will recognize it immediately. Another thing to understand is that Tara is highlighting the negative attitudes and abuses in her childhood, not writing about the wonderful aspects, which she has stated in her interviews, there were many. Those good experiences help blind her to her abuses growing up. The good can overshadow the bad at times, which makes it difficult for victims to leave or recognize the abuse. This childhood of Tara’s, living in a junk yard, watching her siblings and her self get injured over and over, having parents who don’t trust the medical establishment, is all she knew. She didn’t know any different so as I child, she was completely oblivious that the behaviors and attitudes were abnormal and even dangerous. We adapt to our surroundings and environment, especially if we were born into it. This was just her life. The point of the book is that once she separated herself from that life and educated herself not only scholastically but also a secularly, did she truly come to see her family for what they were, which were very different from main stream society. When she truly grasped that concept, her wall came down and that becomes clear in the book. It shattered her view of her family and the entire world she lived in. She no longer knew where she belonged. Her foundation was removed right from underneath her. After making the decision to disconnect from her family, she had to rebuild that foundation based on her new experiences. How can people criticize her for how that’s currently being done? Her story is NOT too absurd to believe, because those incidences were not stretched out for us over years of time. Instead they are lumped together in about 3 or 4 hours worth of reading and seeing it in that form seems unrealistic. But, these people do exist! Being from Utah, I’ve seen them, met them and lived by them. I do believe again, that some creative liberties were taken but as a writer myself, it’s impossible not to use those liberties when you have to fill in the blanks, especially when collecting data from memories. Over all I gave it a 5. She took a big risk exposing her family the way she has. She could ultimately destroy her parents business and her brothers lives. That’s HUGE. So why did she do it? What’s her motive? To get revenge, help other victims, heal, entertain the masses, make money?? Who knows. I suspect all of the above. Really it’s irrelevant. Her motives only matter to her and the family she chose to disect in front of the world. Because this book has become such a phenomenon, she has to live with her role in exposing her family for the rest of her life. It’s her burden, no one else’s. So don’t worry about that and find the true value in the story, which will vary among individuals.
20 people found this helpful
Preppermama –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Good book
I give this 5 stars because this book was so good. The author’s memoirs of her childhood and the “abuse” she endured both Psychological and physical. How brave of the author to get out of the life she had into another she had to learn about on her own. She educated herself by going to college and hard work.How brave of her to write this book about that life.Bless her.
Gaché –
5.0 out of 5 stars
I believe
Having grown up in a disfunctional “religious” family, I can relate in many ways. I can relate, and I believe this incredible life experience of growing up in what is a cultist environment. I escaped my environment with education and distance. I recall nothing more than relief when my father died, after a year of self faith healing efforts. .I’m in my 70’s and still revisited by horrible memories of my childhood.Thank you to the author for the recommended resources. I will look into them.
marie –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Extraordinary memoir of a family that gives new meaning to the word dysfunctional.
This amazing book, destined to be a classic, kept me up at night and then well into the following day. It should be required reading for courses in psychology , counseling and family therapy. The memoir is of a young girl in a family of 7 children in a survivalist Mormon family. The patriarch was mentally ill, possibly bipolar. He used his extreme interpretation of Mormonism to emotionally abuse, bully and intimidate each member of the family including his long suffering and submissive wife. He was “better” than the rest whom he called gentiles and Illiterati.By claiming a direct line to God, the father achieved a power over his family that defies the imagination. He .had bouts of mania when he took chances with their safety and well being. But God would protect them.. Repeatedly he refused common sense protection of his family. God would protect them. His depressive bouts left him bedridden while requiring the family to take him to see his parents in Arizona to recover. He was catered to and idolized. Defying him was defying God. Women, especially, came in for his scorn. They were little more than indentured servants. As with so many of these male dominated groups, the women were perceived as temptresses and whores. Freud would have had a field day with that perception. The mother appeared to have pseudo insight but was incapable of supporting her children in the face of incomprehensible emotional and physical abuse.;The existence of this family within a Mormon community yet so outside the boundaries of reasonable Mormon tenants begs the question: what responsibility does the broader community have to protect vulnerable children? This is not about Mormonism but a small community and extended family in Idaho that turned away and ignored neglect and abuse when children did not have birth certificates, were not schooled even at home, were not immunized, not taken to doctors, were repeatedly seriously injured, were dressed in filthy rags, and were told the Government and Medical Establishment was the enemy… The enemy was actually within that home. The enemy was this very mentally ill and destructive father. I think of the Turpin family, abusing their children but hidden. This family was neglectful in plain sight.The litany of serious injuries sustained by the children was chilling as was the father’s cavalier dismissal of their safety. But willful neglect was one thing, sustained and brutal sibling abuse is quite another.All dysfunctional families have lies they tell themselves, their teachers, authority figures, extended family etc. e;g;, yes, we are home – schooled (not). They have secrets. . But the worst secret and lie that persisted like a rotting cancer was the denial of severe physical abuse inflicted on several of the siblings over the years by one extraordinarily disturbed son. The son would have murderous rages and then the apologies would start…the injured sibling was forced to forgive. Classic spousal abuse but in this case it was a sibling causing the abuse who should have been removed from the family, placed in a treatment program. Instead no one talked about it, the siblings didn’t tell each other what had happened until they compared notes as adults and most horrific of all, the parents denied it happened, demanded “proof” and allowed this monster of a son to continue abusing girlfriends, his wife, his dog Diego.(I would have had him locked up for life for just this part of the story). .. In the end, the parents and this sibling bullied the family into staying silent. Only the daughter, with great effort, recognized what was going on. She made many attempts to connect with her parents but they pulled closer into their delusions.This daughter, extraordinarily intelligent and determined escapes, becomes well educated but pays a price, doubting herself up until almost the end,The writing was clear and perceptive. The author has survived but the story is still chilling. Sometimes children from an abusive background only survive with a “parentectomy”.I do wonder if the story is finished. The sadistic bully of a son now has a family of his own (wife and two children) that he has shown himself willing to abuse.
27 people found this helpful
Stutteringhand –
5.0 out of 5 stars
AMAZING STORY
Tara’s life is almost unbelievable. Raised by Fundamentalist-End of the World Preppers, who did not believe in public schools, she received almost no formal education growing up. Despite abuse and family opposition, she managed to attend Oxford and Harvard. A truly, incredible story of an incredible person.
Kindle Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars
I wanted to read this but stopped myself
I don’t know why I didn’t, but I’m glad I changed my mind.This is no recitation of the sins of the Mormons or the damage of the patriarchy. It could have been if that’s the shallow emotional depth where the author halted her journey, but she did the hard work of understanding both of those but then also understanding herself.The blame must bury itself.An education clears away the clutter. It separates the wheat from the chaff. It requires the basic assumptions we make every day to give an account and if that account does not support them, the student must brush it away to reveal the truth that it hides.A child must do the same to find the person free of the opinions and judgements of others.I feel like the author’s life helped me see what our country has gone through since 2016. We have to sift through all of the evidence we have to burn away whatever lies placed upon us by these two ‘sides’ and find what is really the truth about who we are as a people under this set of ideas that we say we want to live up to.We can’t do that if we think that a tiny group of people who think they are leading us can define us. We are stronger and smarter than they will ever say because they know that we don’t need them. They need us.Their greatest fear is that we will stop looking at and listening to them and turn to see and hear each other. That’s why they tell us we are divided. That’s why they tell us we can’t trust each other.That’s why we were told that those in the riots were the people like us but were in fact wealthy and powerful people across this country playing their part to keep the rest of us convinced that we should only fear each other, not the owners and bosses gathered together in the Capitol. Acting as if they were fighting each other but passing and enforcing laws that drain us of our happiness and worth.He parents successfully divided their family by using their economic and emotional power over them to hide the real danger from them… The violent and ill brother who will almost certainly murder someone if he hasn’t already.We can’t let the violent enforcers who are killing us all divide us and make us weak.This country worked best when the rich had to pay for their privilege-pay fair wages and provide for our needs. But they used our differences to drive down our wages and benefitsThis country will work best when we turn to each other and force the powerful to see the working people of all colors as valued and valuable citizens and treat us accordingly.The people who made this mess blamed it on the different colors of skin so we couldn’t see their guilt. Tara’s parents do the same when they blame their educated children for getting that education to continue controlling their uneducated children.I pray the workers of this country and the children of their family unite before death becomes inevitable.
One person found this helpful
Curicat –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Educated—Creating your own miracle
I am in awe of Tara Westover. After finishing the book I watched some of her book tour interviews. I am simply amazed at this brilliant, poised, well-spoken woman. That she could raise herself from her unorthodox, fraught beginnings into a profoundly intelligent, wise, and emotionally balanced person seems miraculous, but it wasn’t a miracle. She did it all by herself.It’s not that there was no love to ground her. She and her six siblings and parents loved each other. She was raised in rugged Idaho in the shadow of Buck’s Peak, good bedrock from which to form an identity. Her parents followed the Mormon religion, but they practiced a version far from the mainstream. (The author clearly states that this is not a book about Mormonism.) Led by the father, Gene, the family pursued a survivalist ideology (hording supplies and gasoline to prepare for the “Days of Abomination”) and was deeply distrustful of all educational, medical, and government entities. Gene persuaded Tara’s mother, Faye (in spite of her his wife’s initial timidity) to become a midwife and herbal healer, schooled only by another midwife. This would ensure that family and future descendants would have no need of the medical establishment.Gene was probably mentally ill—possibly bipolar or paranoid, but fully functioning and charismatic. He was blind to risk and often put his children into dangerous situations. In fact, members of the family experienced multiple, very serious accidents and injuries. His wife was an enabler, aiding, abetting, and justifying his recklessness and doing her best to heal the family’s traumatic injuries and burns.Tara’s older brothers spent time in public schools before Gene became more radial and pulled them out. The parents claim that they home-schooled their children, but Tara’s education consisted mainly of working in her father’s junk yard, sorting scrap and performing all manner of perilous, physical duties. Faye was more enthusiastic about schooling than Gene, particularly about reading. She would attempt to conduct morning classes and Gene would herd the kids into the junkyard as soon as her back was turned. There were books in the house and the children were taken to the library. The family also attended church. So the author’s early education was spotty. She herself said “Learning in our family was entirely self-directed: you could learn anything you could teach yourself, after your work was done.” Her brother Tyler to whom she dedicated the book was able to get into college and against his father’s exhortations, leave home for an education.It was Tyler’s example and support when Tara was undergoing brutal physical and mental abuse from older brother Shawn (unacknowledged by her parents) that inspired her to contemplate leaving the family home. This led her to take on the Herculean task of educating herself to get a high enough ACT test score to get into Brigham Young University. From there she describes the arduous, often uncomfortable and embarrassing path to enlightenment and a previously unthinkable level of academic success.After I finished the book, I Googled the family’s essential oils business, which is now quite financially successful. I also read her brother, Tyler’s blog, as well as several accusatory, low-rated Amazon reviews. There is some real venom directed toward Tara. Her siblings have differing memories, in part justified by the age span among the seven of them. I am troubled by comparisons to James Frey’s notorious memoir, A Million Little Pieces, which after initial success was exposed as mainly fiction. Tara speaks of being gaslighted. She is estranged from certain members of her family, an action often deemed necessary by mental health professionals to protect patients’ fragile sense of self when dealing with extremely dysfunctional families. The author is careful to acknowledge that memories vary among family members (even citing differences) and points out that hers are not infallible. She speaks of having a mental breakdown while working toward her PhD at Cambridge, soon after she cut off contact with her parents.I believe her. I sincerely hope she will continue to follow her own hard-fought course and not succumb to gaslighting and venom. I pray for her. She paid dearly for the identity for which she has so valiantly strived. I hope she has all the support she needs and finds the peace and happiness she deserves. She is an absolute inspiration to me.
155 people found this helpful
Thelma –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Still Feeling all the emotions!!
I decided to read Educated after so many suggestions, the first pages I felt a little lost because I really didn’t know anything about the book or the story, I went in completely blinded and I’m so happy that I did..This is the real story of Tara Westover a story that really captivate me and made me feel so many emotions the author was describing, her sadness, her rage and even when she couldn’t talk I felt the desperation for her to open up and finally say something about what was happening, also the heartwrenching moments when she wanted to confide in someone and found herself alone without not knowing what to do. especially her relationship with her mother I totally saw myself in that picture.”When my mother told me she had not been the mother to me that she wished she’d been, she became that mother for the first time.”so many great things to say about this book but what really captivated me and made me feel hope is no matter how your world supposed to be, no matter if you are navigating in a world that was created by your parents and beliefs.. your true calling will always make it through, no matter how much those around you try to stop you and make you believe that maybe you’re not good enough or that the life you chose is not the one you really want or deserve.. when something is for you it will be and it will find its way no matter how much the things around you or the people around you are trying to do it so..”Everything I had worked for, all my years of study, had been to purchase for myself this one privilege: to see and experience more truths than those given to me by my father, and to use those truths to construct my own mind.”Educated really made me feel hope, to meet people like Dr.Runciman and Dr.Kerry I wish there were more people like them, people who will embrace you and see your true potential and help you achieve to be the best version of yourself.. I can’t recall how many times in my life I have searched for someone like them. someone who will finally see the light and push me true..”It’s strange how you give the people you love so much power over you, I had written in my journal. But Shawn had more power over me than I could possibly have imagined. He had defined me to myself, and there’s no greater power than that.”So many great people surrounded Tara her brothers were amazing I really love Tyler since the very first chapters and then Tom and Richard I’m glad they were there to help.. and it pains me to see how many deserted Taras claims without even giving her the chance to have a place in her life..”But vindication has no power over guilt. No amount of anger or rage directed at others can subdue it, because guilt is never about them. Guilt is the fear of one’s own wretchedness. It has nothing to do with other people.”Overall it was an amazing book with so many emotions, that showed me how much we can achieve no matter how many NO’s and walls life and circumstances are puttying us in our paths. so happy for Tara to be able to achieve so much. I hope one day your other siblings finally see you from who you’re rather than the lies or the picture they had created in their minds.
2 people found this helpful
Linda –
4.0 out of 5 stars
INSPIRATIONAL, HEARTBREAKING; EMOTIONALLY DISTURBINGLY
“In families like mine there is no crime worse than telling the truth.” —Tara WestoverWhat does it mean to be educated? This book will make you think about what it really means to have an education—to be free to form your own opinions—and if the risks and sacrifices one might have to make in pursuit of knowledge, are worth it in the end. It’s message will both inspire and disturb you, and haunt you in your dreams.Educated is the true story about the author, Tara Westover, growing up in an isolated, dysfunctional, survivalist family with radical views, who, in contrast, live on a beautiful mountain in Idaho. As the youngest child in a family of seven—5 boys and 2 girls—Tara’s story is both heartbreaking and inspirational. Due to their father’s extreme political, religious, and moral beliefs, Tara and her siblings were not given access to medical attention or public education, nor did her parents believe in anything government related, believing it to be a system of brainwashing.The book is fairly well written and deeply poignant. It is definitely hard to put down, but it is also extremely disturbing on so many levels. There are plot holes and some timeline inconsistencies, and some horrific parts that are so emotional that they are difficult to imagine, let alone read. Tara’s experiences with her older brother, Shawn—whom she understandably both loved and hated—were not only shocking, they were heartbreaking. Equally appalling is the fact that ultimately most of the family chose to ignore or hide Shawn’s violent, unstable, abusive behavior and death threats, also choosing not to confront their father about it, even though both parents, admittedly the mother, knew what had been going on. They choose to protect it with a blind eye, possibly out of some kind of misguided family loyalty, shame, and more than likely, fear. But like Tara’s brother, Tyler, wrote in a letter to her: “This is a perverted idea of family loyalty. They claim faith, but this is not what the gospel teaches.” Once committed, Tyler never wavered in telling their truth, though it changed his relationship with his father. However, the only true hero of the story is Tara herself.Personally, I feel badly for Tara’s mother who appears to have been trapped and manipulated by her choices in a clouded vision of love, trying to keep peace. I also feel badly for Tara’s father, who was obviously in need of psychological and medical intervention. And I feel badly for each of Tara’s siblings and feel they probably coped in different ways with the only life and family they had known.None of us can really judge Tara or understand her family without having walked in their shoes. However, it is a sad fact that abusers and their enablers distort reality for their victims in order to cover up their crimes, so what Tara was able to accomplish—coming from her unhealthy broken environment—is truly remarkable!! Whether or not we become like our parents, is a choice we can all make. We can love and forgive those who have harmed us, without following in their footsteps. May this book help others in the same situation, to recognize psychological and physical abuse wrapped up in the arms of love, and find their own healing voice to break free!“You are not fool’s gold, shining only under a particular light. Whomever you become, whatever you make yourself into, that is who you always were. It was always in you. … You are gold.” —Tara Westover, Educated: A MemoirNOTE: It should be noted that the so called “Mormon” doctrine Tara was exposed to in her home, is not reflective in any way to the Christ-like loving teachings of the restored Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Tara’s view of religion was experienced through the eyes of her manipulative, controlling father, who was suffering from a bipolar type mental illness, although she didn’t know it at the time. Her father’s skewed view of religion unknowingly created numerous misconceptions in the home in which Tara was raised. All good things, when taken to an extreme, then mixed with the paranoia and darkness of mental illness, can turn good into evil.
8 people found this helpful
Thistle 746 –
4.0 out of 5 stars
You have to know the type….
I see a lot of naysayers on here that doubt the accuracy of this memoir. Since the story in and of itself is pretty well established, perhaps I’ll take this opportunity to add clarity for some of these skeptics. As one who has lived in south east Idaho for 25+ years I think I have a pretty good perception of how this family operated and probably functioned.The term ‘living-off-the-grid” must be viewed as relative. Where this family grew up is only about 50-60 miles from where I live. While not exactly mainstream, it isn’t ‘Call of the Wild’ Alaska either. Clifton, Preston, Weston and Dayton are a small collection of towns which probably net a population of 3000. If not enrolling your kids in school, stock piling food and ammo, drawing water from the mountain and canning your own food is interpreted as ‘living-off-the-grid’ then who I am to argue. Its considerably further off the grid than (insert city/metroplex of choice).The Westover family owning horses seen by one reviewer as a life of privilege. I don’t think so. These horses were wild. The family owned land that was passed down to them for several generations. They had the land to let these horses run and breed. Horses are plentiful around here.The Westover family using IM, internet and phone. Again why not? Living-off-the-grid is relative. This dysfunctional family had the latitude to enjoy whatever ‘first world’ creature comforts they wanted. Ever seen homeless people with mobile phones? Same thing.Over embellishment of road accidents, burns and violence. I believe it. People like the Westovers live on the margins of normalcy. Rules do not apply to them therefore conventional wisdom does not apply to them. People who have this skewed outlook on life tend to have things happen TO them. I know people just like them. A catalog of road accidents, industrial and farm accidents, illnesses and family turmoil. Everyone else can see it coming. Apart from them.Their faith. Mormonism. The author noted that her book was not about Mormonism so I’ll leave it there. I do wish however she’d have taken the time to denounce it for what it is though. Mormonism is the most common religion in these parts. Most of them have never been anywhere so it’s easy to have a grandiose view in that your faith is the only faith and of course the right one. Big fish small pond scenario.The trouble with people that have this particular bent to religion, is that they believe their God will protect them at all costs. So why heed Health & Safety guidelines? Why heed Department of Transportation or road safety? Why heed any law? God has it in hand. I bet they still looked both ways before they crossed the road though.It appears they made a fairly successful business with their scented oils – advertising cures to all sorts of maladies (including cancer). Again the anti-vaccine/homeopathic/natural type gravitate towards these sort of people. Water seeks its own level after all.Overall, I believe Ms. Westovers account. I thought the book was very well written but it left me a bit hollow. It left me a bit angry in that the perpetrators of such a psychologically twisted upbringing got off. They maintained their family unit whilst the author has been permanently chastised. It’s a wicked religion.
13 people found this helpful
Avid Reader –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Riviting
I can’t remember the last time I literally could not put down a book. I finished this book at 5:30 am after starting the previous afternoon. Ms. Westover has full command of her story and the personalities of her subjects.
Lisa Winkler –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Life affirming & validating
For someone who has been disowned by their family of origin, led by a parent, in my case my mother, this book is a true reflection of the incredibly devastating emotional toll & gut wrenching hell a person goes through in these circumstances. Tara Westover is a shining example of sheer resilience & courage. Tara’s brilliance is extraordinary as she moves through the immense difficulty of educating herself both emotionally & intellectually. This Author’s description of her feelings & the conclusions she comes to in order to move forward in her own life are a road map for anyone on a similar journey of life long emotional abuse, control & ultimately being ostracized by their family. Tara was literally describing my feelings spot on. Grateful for Tara’s courage & vulnerability in writing this memoir that has validated me & my experience greatly & has made me feel less alone & strange in a very scary, unpredictable situation & life. Thank you Tara Westover.
One person found this helpful
Tyler Shepherd –
4.0 out of 5 stars
Compelling Writing Style Scattered with Hard To Believe Aspects
I found Tara’s writing style to be compelling and engaging, vividly painting the picture of her unique story. At times, she comes across as an unreliable narrator with conflicting memories of key events and gaps in her miraculous rise to success within her newfound educational journey, which starts abruptly. Despite that, I was enthralled by her storytelling abilities and the portrayal of some wacky and infuriating characters and situations.I couldn’t help but draw parallels between Tara’s experiences and the dynamics within my rural family. This book made me reflect on how mental health struggles and a closed mindset can unravel family bonds. It’s a powerful reminder of the impact our beliefs and perspectives can have on our closest relationships.
3 people found this helpful
Amazon Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Sad Story
If this were fiction, I would consider the story implausible. Tara’s father was/is a reckless fool and her brother a sadist, who physically abused Tara. Numerous accidents prey on family members due to the father’s obsession with rushing to get jobs done and lack of common sense. Her brother’s abuse was for no particular reason. In principle, Tara and her younger siblings were home schooled, but in practice they are left on their own to find time for learning after putting in long days of work for their father. There are seven children in the family and the oldest three were allowed to attend school. One suspects that Tara’s father’s possible problems with bipolar disease became increasingly worse.Tara’s mother prepares oils and salves intended for healing and a midwife before the second family car accidents. She is dominated by her husband, tries to placate him, but occasionally does something for one of her children that she hopes will go unnoticed or at least her part in it.The family is Mormon and her father is a fundamentalist suspicious of government and modern medicine. They were neighbors of the Weavers of Ruby Ridge.Even sadder than Tara’s treatment and lack of early education, is her own struggle with who she is once she manages to get into college. When her mother refuses to believe her brother’s treatment of her, she questions herself. Several times she seems strong only to regress after a family visit.Some readers question the veracity of her story since some family members deny it. The family lawyer discredits things that don’t appear in the book. However, it is clear that she consulted about some of the family tragedies with her siblings, who remember minor details differently but confirm the tragedy. It is indeed surprising that family members survived what they did. The father credit’s his wife’s cures, but my own view is that the human body has incredible ability to heal itself over time. At least two recoveries were lengthy and incomplete. Tara never seemed to receive relief from her mother’s oils.Also at issue is Tara’s lack of education when three out of the children received PhDs. The other two were among the older three who did go to school. To me three PhDs is evidence that this was a highly intelligent family. Evidently, Tara taught herself how to read and write. However, she knew nothing of important historical events such as the holocaust or how to interpret test directions. She took the SAT exam twice and earned a scholarship after slogging through many practice tests.Naturally, different people have different memories and interpretations of events.In college, she struggled but had a bit of luck. She was naïve and missed assignments in one class subsequently failing the first exam. She also failed her first math exam. In the first case the instructors threw out the results of the first test. In the math course, an A was promised for a perfect score on the final. Tara describes working day and night on these courses. She worked doggedly. This is one thing she can credit her father for. She was used to long days of work in the junkyard.I was sorry it took so long for Tara to find herself, which required rejecting her family’s goals for her. Her conflict likely was due to love for her family despite it all.
One person found this helpful
Liz –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Never ever take your education for granted
Most memoirs I dread reading for the fact that each has that “look what I have done and accomplished” feel to them. We hear about their childhood and their success story, the ones who influenced them to become the star they are. But Tara’s story is one that struck me in such a different way than most memoirs or books I have read. She left me feeling hopeful for my own future and grateful for the simple privileges I have like having an education which we take for granted.Her story starts in rural Idaho. Living with her extremely Mormon family whose beliefs are so far removed from reality that even their church considered them strange, Tara tells her story as not a tale of religion, but her escape from the cycle of untrue information she was told about the world. Her father is the puppet master behind their family and these extreme ideas of how the world is ending and how the government is always out to get you, school was viewed as unnecessary and dangerous as well as medical help was run by the Illuminati. He manipulates the use of religion to force everyone to believe God took care of it all and put his children at risk of extreme danger and controlled their Mother into being what he wanted her to be.The neglect, the abuse, and the lack of social interaction is something Tara had to endure and escape from, I could never imagine fighting so hard with my family and myself and deciding between my own life or the one I was raised to stay in. This daughter, extremely intelligent and determined, pays the price of leaving her safe, sheltered, and strange life to pursue being educated. In this process she questions herself every step of the way, putting herself through stages of depression, mania, and isolation. She guides us throughout her journey of discovering what the real world truly is. This personal conflict created internal problems for herself, regularly related to her family. She starts to break free from their views and creates her own and in the end, no matter how much it pained Tara, she recognized her family was not one she could remain a part of no matter how hard she attempted.I am currently in high school and I read this book for an assignment. Typically, I do not enjoy books, but this one made me question what the next chapter had to offer and grimacing at the details of the gory and heart-wrenching moments no child or adult should experience. Westover’s accurate detail and her short but meaningful chapters kept me on the edge of my seat. Tara is aware her life was never easy or ordinary but still tells her tale from an unbiased perspective. I understand this memoir was not easy to construct, as Tara had to relive certain significant moments that continue to disturb her, but I could not be any more grateful for her courage and fearlessness to be herself in an environment that was intended to make her a copy.
2 people found this helpful
Elizabeth –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Disturbing but lovely read
I love love love the authors writing style. she was engaging and captivating. This is a dark read and you’re angry for her… your left to tears, mouth drops and rage.but despite all that, it’s a DAMN good book.
One person found this helpful
Vaughan24 –
3.0 out of 5 stars
Great book but don’t expect it to leave you feeling light at the end.
As I was reading this book, there were parts that I read that had me gaping at it in disbelief. The mindset of Tara’s parents is astounding and it made me want to call my own parents and thank them for not only loving and caring for me but protecting me.**SPOILERS**The danger that Gene Westover put his children and even his wife in at times, is incomprehensible. I honestly can’t believe that all seven kids survived to adulthood. Tara swears her father loved them despite this but it’s hard for me to believe it. I believe he only loved their loyalty and compliancy. Not them. They were his workers and that is all.In the beginning of the book, I was immediately fascinated by their beliefs. The survivalists mentality that the world would soon end as they knew it. It’s interesting until you continue reading and realize just how dangerous radical beliefs can be.I’ll admit, I found it strange that they allowed Tara certain freedoms despite being so against conventional society. For a time she was able to go to dance classes and play rehearsals. Yet, hospitals were forbidden despite horrific injuries and for someone who believed the government was “coming for them” you would think they would have had minimal interaction outside of the family. I suppose this was partially due to her fathers untreated Bipolar Disorder. Gene thrived on recognition and when he discovered Tara could sing, he reveled in the praise of his youngest child which I’m guessing is the only reason she was allowed to continue the rehearsals for a time.Writing wise, I enjoyed how this book was written. Tara doesn’t feel sorry for herself at all despite all she’s been through. I noticed some people are skeptical about certain events, and some of her schooling but personally, I believe her. In my opinion, she has no reason to lie and she even included the times where her brother(s) remember a story differently if it didn’t match her own.This book taught me just how horrible people can be when you mix radical beliefs with mental illness. Her father doesn’t seem so bad next to her abusive brother, Shawn. I found myself holding my breath with Tara when he would walk into a room and I am honestly disgusted that no one witnessing the abuse attempted to help. Not Charles, not anyone in that grocery store parking lot when he DRAGGED Tara out of the truck. None of her brothers, sister, boyfriends, parents, not even Shawns ex girlfriends who were also victims. It’s no wonder Tara thought she was overreacting over the abuse she endured.Frankly, it’s a very depressing book. I was angry half the time reading it not only at the family but at Tara herself towards the end. Despite her family literally disowning her aside from three of her brothers and a few aunts and uncles, she would tirelessly go home to these wackos and it angered me to no end. I found myself asking “her”, What is it going to take for you to realize they only want you if you’re them? How many times do you need to go back home to realize that? I can understand that no matter what, it’s hard not to try and work things out with your family but this was beyond saving. Her parents defended Shawn. Aside from the physical abuse, he threatened to murder both of his sisters and actually murdered his innocent dog. They witnessed his abuse multiple times to multiple victims. If I was in her shoes, that would have told me everything and you couldn’t have paid me to speak to them ever again. Maybe I’m being too harsh in regards to someone who suffered so much mistreatment in her adolescence but the truth is I was disappointed with her when throughout the whole book, I was on her side until Part 3. After that, I wanted to throw the book across the room because I was so sick of her naivety.All in all, I’m glad I read it and I’m happy for Tara. It’s a miraculous story, that is the truth but the ending made me feel so poorly that I feel like I need to read a happy childrens book just to uplift my mental state.
16 people found this helpful
penningreviews –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent Memoir
Westover admits what she may not recall and that memories are subjective but tells a credible story of great, if terrifying, family drama that is both sweet and bitter. And not completely unique in a country overrun by extremist fundamentalism and untreated mental illness. Excellent book.
One person found this helpful
FilmMuse6 –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Educated is worthy of its acclaim. Tara Westover is worthy of admiration.
There are two types of popular books, one is the kind that gets a lot of hype and fanfare and sits on bestseller lists for months but ultimately falls short of all the acclaim. Second is the kind that simply lives up to your greatest expectations — even if you were skeptical of all the aforementioned hype and fanfare to begin with. Educated is solidly, well written and exquisitely told story of survival and ultimately, success. I was skeptical because Educated stares at me from The New York Times, week after week on the bestseller list—everyone seems to have either heard of it, has read it or wants to read it. How can it be that good? Or is it just good, in the common mainstream way that some books are? But Tara Westover has written a powerful and heart-searing story about the abuse and dysfunction she experienced growing up with her wildly eccentric and religious family. Her upbringing is a far cry from what a normal childhood looks like; Tara never went to public schools and yet managed to study at Cambridge and complete her PHD at Harvard. Who wouldn’t want such a success story? But more on that in a moment.Tara Westover’s emotional story broke my heart even as she tells it in a very matter of fact style. She’s raw and honest about her own self and shortcomings, she turns the lens on herself many times in the book, shining a light on her own bad behaviors and choices. Her story is shocking, infuriating and at times just plain, disturbing, but I couldn’t stop reading it. I didn’t feel it was redundant at all, although you can say, many of the same bad things happen to her over and over again; car accidents, freak accidents in the junkyard, physical and verbal abuse from her older brother and worst of all, the sheer lack of protection she had from her parents. The hardest thing to grasp about Tara’s story is how easily her parents did not protect her from so much, time and time again. To come from all that and to be as articulate as she is and as grounded as she seems is astonishing. Just pull up an interview of Tara Westover talking to Oprah or Ellen DeGeneres and you’ll find yourself thinking what a lovely person she appears to be. She doesn’t seem fueled with anger or overcome with emotion, she holds herself upright gracefully and tells her truth, straight. She doesn’t even talk badly about all of the ones who have hurt her so deeply. I believe that is a testament to who Tara Westover is as a person.As far as her education, I read the many naysayer comments barking about her “too good to be true” Ivy League education and dismissing or denying how she could have not gone to public school and gotten a high school education before going off to these colleges based on what little education and home schooling she did have. I admit, it does sound too good to be true…but in some cases, some people just have what it takes; the talent, the brains, the drive and determination and the luck to get far in life. I think Tara always had it in her and the people who met her, the bishop and the professors who supported and encouraged her, felt very strongly about what Tara was capable of and I think they helped her as much as they could along the way. I think they wrote recommendation letters, persuaded her numerous times to apply for grants and funding and to take her knowledge as far as it could go. I think it was easy to see in Tara, a success story of sorts. She’s someone who transformed themselves into who she was meant to be, someone who could change her life (if not her story or her past) and transcend even her wildest dreams. I admire Tara and her success and applaud her for telling such a raw story—even if it meant risking estrangement from the people she loves.Tara Westover has written a brilliant story and proves what a good writer she is. A good story in the hands of a bad writer would not end up being as beloved and popular as Educated is. As far as I can see, she was meant to have all her success.
35 people found this helpful
Eric –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great read!!
Excellent. Moving. Insightful. Raw. Humanity in the microcosm of the Westover family. I found myself agreeing with Tara’s observations of herself and her family, even while I often agreed with certain aspects of her father’s views of the world. It’s easy to recognize the conundrum this presents for the reader and that would have been amplified a hundred fold for anyone growing up in that household.
One person found this helpful
Mary Ellen Dreher –
4.0 out of 5 stars
Not about Education
“Educated” by Tara Westover is a story about Tara’s life growing up in a Mormon family in Idaho. Even by Mormon standards, her father especially, is an outsider in his own faith tradition. Eccentric might be another term that one would use. Tara and some of her other younger siblings are never sent to school and their so-called “homeschooling” is basically no schooling. Her father believes school will contaminate his children to the world- a world in which he sees himself as God’s prophet. There are so many psychological and religious issues in this story that I can relate to on so many levels from my own personal experience. Although, I grew up Mennonite and not Mormon and the religious beliefs are different, the cultural dynamics are similar. First, Tara grows up in a family were the father is the ruler and women are seen as needing to always be submissive to men. This is a standard Mormon belief as well as one of many evangelical Christians, but her father uses that belief to control and to manipulate his family into a separate kind of lifestyle ruled by paranoia of everything “out there”, religious superiority, and an expectation of family loyalty. He does this through demanding an adherence to a distorted preaching of his faith as the one and true faith, by shaming his children if they so much as show any interest in how others live and attempt to copy that behavior. I couldn’t help but make that connection to my own father. Though my father was not nearly as off-center as Mr. Westover, I recognized the same behavior from my childhood. The result is the child feels alone and unable to connect with anyone often for life. Tara finds herself alienated from everyone in her world except her family. She sits alone in Sunday School and of course, she has no friends for two reasons. She feels different from everyone else and her father makes sure that she has no time or opportunity to cultivate friendships with others. He stresses that girls she meets are not good enough for her. Her father uses his faith to condemn them as not living the way a person of God should live. She, therefore, feels guilty for even wanting to associate with such “wicked” people. Tara, even after she leaves home and goes to college, finds herself unable to fit in and at odds with pretty much everyone. I don’t think she, for many years, recognizes that this is a result of the socialization or lack thereof from her home life. It is deeply and complexly rooted in the emotional, psychological, religious, and cultural dynamics of her early years. I find it interesting that she titles the book, “Educated,” as if obtaining an education is what moves her to a place in society that she is accepted as “normal” by others. The lack of education is a handicap and with certainty will keep her a captive in her father’s strange world, but it is not what makes her feel alone, strange, and like she doesn’t belong in the new world that she explores. Getting educated will not fix what is broken inside of her from her childhood. It only gives her a better platform from which the self can say, “Now I am somebody.” I did the same thing. I went to school and got a master’s degree and a job that is viewed with respect and awe. And while working in it, I feel strong, accepted, and like I have worth. But outside of it, I still feel friendless and different from everyone else. I watch Tara as the story progresses feeling this total alienation from others and struggling with it. From my own experience, I have learned the feeling never goes away. One simply has to learn to be comfortable with being alone and knowing that this is who I am. A part of her psychic also does the same thing that I did with my family even after leaving. It longs for the love of one’s parents and siblings. Tara, like me, keeps coming back to the family trying to convince them of reality and what is right. Even though on a logical level, one comes to understand that one’s family is mentally unhealthy, there is this deep seated needed to stay connected to them. Afterall, if those who bore you and nurtured you in childhood don’t love you, then why would anyone else especially God. Tara loses herself and becomes mentally unstable for a year after she realizes that her family does not want to know the truth that one son has been viciously abusing other members. Her parents are not interested in addressing the problems in the family and the highest value of loyalty makes everyone choose to accept “the delusion that they are one big happy family” which will allow them to remain part of the family. Tara realizes that the family “truth” and loyalty are more important than loving her. This is devastating to her.What really destroys her is that her mother betrays her in this battle to expose evil. Her mother one minute acknowledges to Tara that she knows about and will speak to her father about Shawn’s unacceptable behavior. But when there is an actual confrontation, her mother turns against her and sides with her father. Her mother tries to destroy Tara’s reputation and character. For the mother to stand against the patriarch of the family requires too high of a price. It reminds me so much of my own mother who swung from seemingly being rational to total denial and perpetrating vicious attacks on my character. It leaves one very confused and in the case of Tara, she cannot concentrate enough to even study. She falls into a deep depression. She had this deep-seated hope that her family would change because of her speaking the truth. But her family, like mine, was incapable of changing. Denial is a powerful substance that keeps the system stable no matter how dysfunctional. Only the individual has the power to change and often doesn’t because of these pressures from different aspects of society to conform, especially the family of origin and one’s religious community.If you enjoy exploring the complex dynamics of families, “Educated” is a compelling read. My books “If You Leave This Farm” and “No Longer a Child of Promise” also explore many of the same dynamics. My third book, “Once An Insider, Now Without a Church Home” explores the same dynamics and pressures within the evangelical church as found within the family. One is only a friend and a member as long as one follows the dictated expected behavior and norms.I appreciate all those who have the courage to write their stories. It helps me to know that I am really not alone and that I don’t need to be ashamed to share my own story.
233 people found this helpful
Constant Reader –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Perceptive, Compelling, Articulate, Harrowing, and Inspiring
Tara Westover is the youngest child of survivalist, fundamentalist, parents. It would be inaccurate to say that she was home-schooled since there was no effort at home to educate the children beyond teaching them to read. There was access to a very limited supply of books and most of the children were self-taught. The education provided by her parents was more an indoctrination into the father’s paranoid view of the world and his condemnation of any actions that did not conform to his rigid interpretation of Mormonism. Her story is harrowing, compelling, redemptive, and believable. It is so compelling and so fluently written that it was impossible to put down. This book was a selection for our book group and it lead to a very interesting discussion. The discussion covered the immediate topics of emotional abuse, physical abuse, mental health, religious extremism, political extremism, education, and families. Our discussion also covered more wide ranging issues such as how we are failing children who are removed from society, school, and view. We want to believe that parents should be able to love and care for their children without interference, but we know that not all parents will keep their children safe or provide what the children will need to fully function in this world. Tara deserved better, those children who were driven off a cliff deserved better, and there are thousands of invisible children who still deserve better. There are also very perceptive aspects of the book dealing with the role of women, and some scholarly discussion of the issue. Tara had to struggle to find her role as a woman after growing up in an environment where women are meant to be obedient and submissive. When she went to Brigham Young, she intended to study music so that she could lead a church choir. It sounded like an acceptable role for a woman to her. When her world opened, not only did she have no idea of her abilities, she began to reconsider her choices. At one point, she spoke with to a male student who was from a more mainstream Mormon family and applying to law school. She asked him if he would study law if he were a woman. He replied, “If I were a woman, I wouldn’t want to study it.” The conversation went downhill from there as he continued to insist that women are made differently and should only aspire to care for their children. Downhill again it went when he concluded that if he were a woman and wanted to study law, “I’d know something was wrong with me.” This thinking is not historic thinking, it was contemporaneous thinking. It was an enormous step for her to leave the mountain for the first time and she faced enormous objective challenges in both school work and personal behaviors. How heartbreaking is it that even after learning to succeed at the university, there were powerful forces at work to make her ”know her place” and stifle her basic right to be an adult in modern society? Fortunately, not everyone at the university shared that view of gender inequality and she received encouragement and sponsorship to go to Cambridge University. Tara Westover’s story is compelling. There are some who will read it and see elements of their lives and feel that they are not alone and perhaps encouraged that things can get better. Many of us will read it and wish that our parents were still alive so that we could call them and tell them thank you one more time for the loving, safe, environment that we took for granted. Her writing skills are extraordinary. She is an exceptionally perceptive person and she is able to express those perceptions in a way that helps the reader fully understand her thought processes. She is not just throwing out conclusions, indictments, or diagnoses. Her thoughts are worth reading, pondering, and remembering.
8 people found this helpful
Kandy –
5.0 out of 5 stars
intriguing, fascinating read
What an incredible life she shared with us in this book. I had a hard time remembering that this was during my lifetime and not far from where I grew up and yet this was so very different . It’s interesting to see how and what we believe when spoon fed information as fact when we have no other reference, until we step beyond those boundaries. I highly recommend!!
Dalton O –
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Harrowing Journey of Triumph and Resentment
Tara Westover’s “Educated: A Memoir” is a compelling and at times infuriating account of one woman’s remarkable journey from a life of isolation and ignorance to one of education, enlightenment, and self-discovery. This memoir delves deep into the complexities of family, faith, and the pursuit of knowledge, leaving readers with a mix of emotions that range from anger and frustration to admiration.Westover (the author) grew up in rural Idaho with a family that adhered to extreme religious and survivalist beliefs. Her parents’ decision to forgo formal education and conventional medical care had profound consequences on Tara’s upbringing, and that tends to be a focal point of the story. The book recounts the neglect, abuse, and outright danger she faced growing up, often (or always) at the hands of her own family members. I frequently found myself deeply appalled by the myriad ways in which Tara’s family failed her, both emotionally and physically- so it was a bit difficult to read.As Tara strives for self-improvement through education, the book also exposes the challenges she faces when confronting her family’s beliefs and her own internalized guilt and doubt. The memoir highlights the inherent tension between Tara’s desire for knowledge and her loyalty to her family and upbringing. This internal struggle is a central theme throughout the narrative and adds depth to her story. Again, I found this to be really frustrating because, as the reader, her family’s cruelty is blatant and unforgiveable, and I had a hard time sympathizing because they just were the worst.Westover’s writing is evocative and brutally honest, which makes it difficult not to feel a deep sense of resentment toward her family, but it’s essential to note that “Educated” is not merely a condemnation of her family’s choices; it’s also a testament to the power of education and the capacity for personal growth and transformation.
15 people found this helpful
Brian –
5.0 out of 5 stars
so good!
Such a great book! I am impressed at her writing. She had a hard life. She did an amazing job with her reflections.
Amazon Customer –
4.0 out of 5 stars
A people without the knowledge of their past history, origin and culture is like a tree without roots – Marcus Garvey.
As someone who does not know much about the Mormon faith, this book taught me that there are different types of Mormons. It’s scary how as children and young adults our parents opinions and thoughts matters, no matter if their opinions are not valuable. And with many others things in life, it can either make or break us, religion and family are two things that always seem to play a pivotal role in most people lives. One may have more influence than the other but they are always there. As I read chapter after chapter, I was scared yet nervous if the author was going to constantly let her parents dictate her future. Overall, it’s not a easy read. It took me days to read it because it’s rather slow and all over the place but very interesting nevertheless.
Charles Scott –
5.0 out of 5 stars
“meaner than a junk-yard dog”
In the enlightening, autobiographical novel, “Educated,” written by Tara Westover and published in 2018, she goes away to college to broaden her horizons. Tara immerses herself in the fast-paced world of fashion, creativity, arts, and culture in the land of opportunity, once she learns that she has been endowed with certain inalienable civil rights, which have not been assured or guaranteed to her at home up to that point, in the rugged, heavily forested, and isolated terrain of the pristinely mountainous state of Idaho, having been raised in a strictly religious family. Her father could well have presented himself as being the divine reincarnation of one of the original Morman founding fathers. He believes in hard work, perseverance, and self-determination. He demonstrates time and time again how powerfully influential and independent-minded he can be, because his faith in God is strong. In the real world, he operates a scrap metal recycling facility on his property, and his children help in the business. Her mother stands by him throughout all of their ordeals, trials, and tribulations. She accepts the fact that he has the final word in most matters, but she shows that she can be very practical and wise in her own right. For instance, she is knowledgeable and highly skilled in producing herbal remedies and dispensing homeopathic medicine, which is great a benefit to her family, friends, and neighbors. Thus, she provides the family with an extra source of income. You might be tempted to say the family has “six hungry kids and a crop in the fields,” to quote a Kenny Rogers song, because their predicament looks terribly dismal, as they find themselves in dire straits time and time again. But they prove to be more the exception rather than the rule. True, theirs is a devout, outspoken, and righteous pioneering family. We know that some members of the family may tend to behave in a potentially violent manner and can be downright dangerous if provoked. Still, they are intelligent, sentient beings and God-fearing. So, they do have above average economic prospects and a bright future in front of them. There’s no need to call in Billy Jack, Buford Pusser, Raylan Givens, or Efrem Zimbalist Jr., the guru, sheriff, marshal, or FBI right away. Perhaps health and human services. Nevertheless, the family drives Tara away to college, so that she may improve her chances for living a fruitful and fully productive life among those of her ever-expanding social peer groups, although some may repudiate her secular choices and are repelled and repulsed by many of her liberal beliefs. Thus, she has a tough time reconciling the extremely tenacious tendencies of certain members of the family whose behavior is “meaner than a junkyard dog,” to quote a Jim Croce song. At any rate, she does need to assert herself more and get over her shyness and personal inhibitions. She should go out into the world and realize her full potential. On the flip side, she needs to accept people more for who and what they are. Years later, she thinks the family squabbling has to stop. She has pushed herself to the limit trying to succeed in college. She hits the pause and reset buttons, and goes in for counselling, before she can resume her studies. I think, she may have experienced an epiphany or two along the way, but the divine revelations keep coming, leaving us ordinary wee folks baffled, confused, disoriented, perplexed, but amazed. There’s more to her story than meets the eye. I reflect on another story I heard about a young family staying at Sealy’s Motel and Trailer Park in Altura, Colorado during the summer of 1963, where the eldest son goes out to play and meets a contentious play-fort builder and dirt-clod thrower about his own age, eight or nine. The new acquaintance has a furry racoon-skin cap on, buck teeth like a beaver, wears wire-rimmed eyeglasses and is ready to do battle at any given moment. His plywood fort is situated on one side of a vacant trailer lot with the presumed enemy’s built on the opposite side. He has meatball sized dirt-clods stacked like a pyramid of cannon balls in defense of his position, behind a rock wall. Snowballs could be stacked there in the winter, if necessary. He expects an enemy to show up at any moment. To my knowledge, one never did. In search of further adventure or some other form of mischief, “Dennis the Menace” returns to the motel section of the park. The Lady in Waiting’s front door is open to her apartment, he notices, as he casually strolls by. A securely latched screen door does not prevent or deter him in the least from maliciously seizing two handfuls of dry, finely powdered dirt from the driveway, and tossing it into the room through the screen-wire, onto the polished linoleum floor. Too late to run, he inevitably gets caught. The occupant appears on the scene immediately and invites him inside with the noble intention of making amends. She wants him to apologize and clean up the mess he’s created. A broom and dustpan are generously provided. He’s learned his lesson well that day. Years later, Dennis is 33 years old and still living with his parents in their big, roomy, wooden frame house, when his father subtly inquires, “Have you thought about finding another place to live? We wouldn’t want to cramp your style.” The question jogs the young man’s memory, jolts him up off the sofa, and propels him into taking an evasive action. Yet in denial, he soon lands a well-paying job, borrows enough money from the bank to get there, and promptly moves to Florida to begin work. Problem solved. More recently, Dennis is at work in his newly chosen career field discussing business matters with his colleagues. He’s much older now and has to admit that “when I was a young man, I could get by with blaming all of my problems and personal issues on my negligent, abusive, cruel, and uncaring parents, but now that I am 45 years old, free and totally independent, I would sound utterly ridiculous blaming the parents for my problems in life.” Last week, Dennis was thinking over what the Lady at the Barbeque Stand told him after expressing his sincere appreciation of the extra measure of kindness she displayed, for the delicious take-out food she had meticulously prepared for him, which he in turn had promptly delivered to his sister’s house for the traditional family get-together. He was supposed to bring a dish. “I bet you’ve made Thanksgiving possible for countless others in town besides me!” he stated plainly. “Sure, take all of your holiday stress and put it on us!” she declared, flatly. He didn’t think that she was acting out or demonstrating certain bi-polar tendencies. She’d only said what was on her mind. He smiles, remembering being just as pleased as punch with the turkey submarine sandwich and a bottle of Bubble-up carbonated beverage from the convenience store that he had consumed at the beach soaking up sunshine and watching the waves roll in, the year prior. It was good to be home again. “Thanks for shopping locally!” she added, quickly recanting.
6 people found this helpful
EO –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Simply outstanding
As much as the story of this unique life and person, the language with which it come alive is amazing.
CK23 –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Emotionally Invested
This book I read with no preconceived notions at all. I Began the book thinking it was about teaching, and boy was I wrong. I am still beside myself with the knowledge that this story is not from a time more removed from present day. My emotional connection had me wanting to save Tara and bring the calvary for Shawn to know how he SHOULD treat a lady.
One person found this helpful
S. R. Schnur –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Haunting
Educated has haunted me until I wrote a review. It is not a book that will change the world, but it gets under your skin, and I imagine the author wrote it as a sort of exorcism.Tara Westover’s father is a survivalist. Most of us in rural areas are survivalists to a modest degree. We store food and water enough for a sustained time and have weapons to acquire more food and a fresh water source somewhere – or a generator. We also try to have enough to help each other if we can.There is a kind of survivalist that also collects weapons, not for feeding his family, but to shoot his fellow Americans who might need his help. Her father is that kind. But he also has some sort of mental illness. Ms Westover thinks it is Bipolar. It might have started that way, but there is something extra in there. He deliberately puts his family in mortal danger. When one of them is gravely injured as a result, he refuses to get them medical care. If the family member survives, he takes it as evidence that God is on his side. So every time he almost kills someone and that person survives, he somehow feels God has patted him on the back, whereas most religious people would figure God had sent them an Awful Warning to monitor the safety of their loved ones.Ms Westover also has a brother who is a dangerous psychopath, although he hasn’t yet killed anyone. Whether that is genetic or the result of growing up in a dysfunctional family or the result of a couple of blows on the head that almost killed him, is hard to say.Neither of those things is actually what the book is about. It is about two things really. The first one is gaslighting. Even people who have been short term victims of it will temporarily question their own sanity. This is an extreme example in which the entire family gets together over it. The tales of lives saved turn into hero tales. Where memories differ, they gradually make it into a more cohesive tale.The other tale is the story about how Tara Westover overcame the entire dysfunction. Despite no schooling, she was able to study enough to pass the ACT and get into Brigham Young University. The gaps in her knowledge were so huge people might well have though she was insane herself. Yet she persisted. And, because she probably is a genius, she learned – and kept learning. Some of her teachers reached out to help. She now has a PhD.She has scarred over the parts that look healed. Sometimes those scars might cause trouble. But she seems to be a survivor.
4 people found this helpful
Schuyler T Wallace –
5.0 out of 5 stars
PERSERVERENCE CONQUERS ALL
Love of any type has adjuncts that mean different things to different people. In Tara Westover’s life, love was trust, betrayal, violence, speculation, and passion all tied together in the rugged life of survivalist Idaho Mormons who were dominated by a bipolar husband and father. In “Educated,” Westover tells of never setting foot in a classroom until she was seventeen, nor of having a birth certificate, any inoculations, or medical records because of her family’s immense distrust in the government and/or doctors. Within 10 years after beginning her quest for formal education, she had graduated magna cum laude from BYU, received a master’s in philosophy from Trinity College at Cambridge, spent a year as a visiting fellow at Harvard, and earned a PhD in intellectual history and political thought from Cambridge.But the years leading to her successes at the highest levels of education were far from idyllic. In the seventeen years before her entry at BYU, her life was filled with violence, injury, and humiliation at the hands of her extremist father and a pliant mother, who bent with the violent extremes of both her husband and a son who also committed acts of violence against Tara. She endured the pain before deciding she had to get away to establish her own identity and to attempt to repair the dysfunction she was being subjected to. She was persistent although her efforts at getting educated were met with distain and anger.In beautiful and thoughtful language, Westover unveils her life of privation, the years of working scrap in her father’s junkyard, and of witnessing horrific accidents involving both her father and brother who suffered disfiguring burns. Her leg was once impaled on a metal spike inside a crane bucket as she was dumped with a load of metal onto a concrete slab. Because of distrust of doctors, all family injuries were treated with tincture and salves mixed up by her herbalist mother.The breakup of the family structure, the author states, was not because of her leaving the family mold and going to college. It was her speaking openly about the abusive treatment by her brother that brought about the split. Westover is not in contact with most of the family at the present time.She outlines the improbable educational success she has achieved as difficult and intensely formidable. And, although the family attorney contends that the book falsely portrays her family and should be taken with a “grain of salt,” Westover is careful to express her own beliefs that any recall of past events is faulty at best and some of the incidents have interpretations that could vary. She is adamant that she kept precise journals of events and conversations and relied on that information in her account. In my reading I found nothing to cast doubt on her recollections.“Educated” is a fantastic account of determination in the search for enlightenment.Schuyler T WallaceAuthor of TIN LIZARD TALES
One person found this helpful
bookworm –
4.0 out of 5 stars
Fascinating, gruesome, not an easy book to read
There’s no doubt Tara Westover is a talented writer, although also an uneven one. Her prose, like the book itself, has incredibly powerful and lyrical sections, paragraphs and sentences, some of which stopped me cold in admiration, intermixed with far more pedestrian parts. It seemed as though the closer she got to the “end” of the story, the more rushed the prose. The last sections felt rushed and didn’t have the level of emotion and insight she’d brought to the earlier sections. That’s one of the main reasons I struggled with a rating for this memoir and would ultimately give it a 3.5 or thereabouts.I don’t doubt its veracity, although it has odd anomalies that cry out for more commentary and explanation. You think, after the early sections, that this family is very isolated, living if not off the grid, very close to that. Then, casually, you learn there’s a computer, a television, a telephone and other accoutrements of modern life. Was access to these restricted? We don’t learn that, but it does beg the question of why Tara came to BYU with such a deficit of modern knowledge. She had plenty of contact with other (presumably) more worldly kids as a teenager, especially acting in the local plays/musicals. It seems odd this didn’t open her eyes to something, yet this is a topic on which she is mum. These gaps and omissions in the story do affect the reader’s experience, maybe not to the point of disbelieving it, but certainly to the point of wondering why she isn’t as forthcoming here as she is with all of the hideous accidents that befall family members. After a while, I yearned to hear less about these and more about how she felt/reacted to daily events both before and after she left Idaho for her formal education. I believe all/most of what she recounts actually happened since no one has really debunked anything meaningful in the book and it would be surprising if her publisher hadn’t done a thorough vetting to avoid lawsuits and negative PR. But this is really the story of her development as her own person — able to recognize the collective madness of which she was once a part — and knowing more about her teenage years and the day-to-day life she got to BYU and Cambridge would have added substantively to the story. We hear so little about her days in England and that seemed a huge and curious omission. How interesting it would have been to learn how she adapted; her fears and hopes for belonging or being shunned in some ways. Yet we get none of that. By the time I got to the last section — her parents’ attempts to “exorcise” her demons, her year of breakdown and her subsequent recovery — it all came out oddly rushed, without the insight, details and visual acuity she brought to the earlier years.All this said, this is still a powerful story and definitely worth reading. I hope she goes on to write more and share more about the decade in which her life turned 180 degrees and what that felt like. That is a story that could be as interesting as the litany of crazy accidents and bizarre recoveries.
DalJ –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Tired, One Sitting Read…But Well Worth the Time Spent
I didn’t set out to read this memoir at one sitting, ordering just the standard sample to be sent to my tablet…but after reading just that small sample, I immediately clicked on the “give me the whole chalupa button” so I could continue reading this absorbing & introspective memoir…the author never cuts herself any slack, just writing truthfully about how unprepared she was having endured the abuse from her family which had dominated her entire life before education brought her into adapting into the modern life the rest of us experience.Jarring at times when the reality of her experiences can overwhelm one when reading this memoir, but by never resorting to asking for mercy regarding her actions & life, you get the true sense of her being trapped by being raised in a mean spirited world that featured deprivation as its main commodity, reflecting into her coarsely made aspects of life. Between a domineering father, a beaten down mother and an abusive brother, she really had no chance of ending up in the life that she successfully fought for against the tides of family ties, religion, & society that had bound her into a life of servitude & misogyny. Her escape from it is almost anti-climatic in a matter of fact way, the abuse of everyday life for her was in itself the drama that holds the reader in suspense… Just as Mary Karr’s “The Liar’s Club” lets you see the inside of abuse young females sometimes are exposed to and have to take because of familial bonds and their lack of physical power. This alone leaves one wondering what happened afterwards. And like” The Liar’s Club”, it has the air of disbelief this couldn’t actually be happening, or better yet, OMG, this actually happened! Its good to see someone make it thru this trap of abuse & misogyny, but at the same time, Ms. Westover lets you also see the potential traps that lie ahead as she escapes into a world she has no basis of experience in which to thrive…best maybe to be told in the future in another book with a different POV…for that matter, like Karr’s “Cherry”or “Lit”…I will definitely look forward to see what Ms. Westover writes next, this book will be re-read several times in the future, each time I am sure I will find more aspects of being a male that I might be best to correct…or better yet, maybe to nurture. My wife and her daughter, my stepdaughter, say I am doing fine as a male head of household, but it takes memoirs like this to give me the insight & desire into making myself into a better person so I can be thought of in a positive manner and to be loved because I did the right things for the entire family; me, my wife, my stepdaughter & stepson…its thru the pain women like Ms Westover & Ms Karr have suffered & now write about, that one sees how much better any man can become just by trying. I would never want my extended family to think of me in the ways Ms. Westover writes about her male familial people, I would want for myself to be thought of as a good man who held up his end of the bargain of family. Its by understanding the faults of men like Ms. Westover’s stepdad and brother held onto in their world that I can then find my way into just by being a better man to my family…read it and see if it works in this same manner for you…dj
178 people found this helpful
heath –
5.0 out of 5 stars
I loved this memoir.
I wanted to start this review by refuting the one I just read, which was very critical and accused the author of lying or exaggerating based on the author’s descriptions of dresses and her father’s old fashioned way of speaking like they were characters in the Little House on the Prairie. How ridiculous. I loved the way she profiled her life, how she evolved from an innocent young tomboy in a rural area of Idaho to an educated young woman in Utah and in England (and at Harvard, although she was having mental problems there, which broke my heart). In my opinion, the type of language she used to describe her father’s speech (hillbilly talk and excuse me if that offends) sets the tone. Her writing imbues a feeling (like in fiction) of time and place. Why would the reviewer think she is lying or exaggerating? I do believe danger and damage can happen in a junkyard, especially if children are doing the work. I do know a little about how parents don’t let their children have their own opinions, but to be a zealot like her father and to have a mother who can’t stand up to her husband so that her children are properly cared for, and an abusive brother — that is terrible and may be something to write about, to get them to stop, or see her view, or maybe to garner support elsewhere. And I do believe she was naive at first, at BYU. The bigger point she was trying to make is that there should never be any abuse in any family, give your children the right to their opinion without rejection, give them the right to an education, let them choose their religion, or critique it, seek medical help if it is needed. Don’t “homeschool” your children if you aren’t even doing it. Call 911, if it is required. Natural medicine is helpful, but in conjunction with conventional medicine from hospitals.There should be no rejection between family members. No pitting one against the other.If you lived on a mountain farm with no electronics, wouldn’t you take books to bed and read (when you weren’t working) and wouldn’t you be great at writing? Wouldn’t you want to buy textbooks to learn algebra, trig, and calculus if you wanted to study and go to college? I didn’t find it unbelievable. I was taken with her story, saddened by it, but also energized by it – how she rose above it all, bit still wrote with empathy about her family- until she couldn’t anymore. Sometimes you have to leave to get peace. Even family members. Who likes being abused? I wouldn’t. It was a great, interesting read. I found her so believable and sweet. She even included footnotes when memories varied between her siblings. It tugged at my heart. It was amazing.
gwca –
5.0 out of 5 stars
A moving book that demands empathy, and an important reminder for those who teach
After hearing an interview with Tara Westover on NPR a while back, I put this book on my to-read list. I am a college instructor and as soon as the semester was over I dove in. Two things surprised me: one; Westover’s experiences over and over felt like I was reliving my own background growing up in a rural, dysfunctional, abusive family. The details were different, but the feeling were the same – questioning my own reality, believing the cruel voices of others, self-esteem in the tank, massive imposter syndrome when trying to achieve anything on my own, the feeling that I never deserve successes or happiness or to fit in. If you grew up in this kind of family, Westover’s memoir will be of course difficult to read at times, but it also gives you that validating feeling of not being alone in those crazy-making, disconnected moments.The second thing that surprised me was how much I learned that will help me as a teacher. I recall my own ignorance and complete fumbling around when I started college, but I was beginning to forget how it felt. As teachers we should never forget what it’s like to be too intimidated to talk to a professor or ask for help, or too scared of looking dumb to ask a sincere question. This book stoked my fire to remember that when I meet my students again in the fall, and to let them know they won’t be shamed or shunned for not knowing things.Finally, a note in response to some of the other reviewers. (Not the vindictive family members trying to trash the book’s ratings, but others who commented on the author’s tone.) For people who have been through a lot of trauma and gaslighting, it takes a LONG time to recover to the point where you can tell that story at all, much less in a super stylized way that captures readers. I agree that Westover’s style *sometimes* had a dry, observational quality to it, rather than that intense, drowning-in-the-feeling tone that we get at other times. But I would urge people to remember that it’s not always possible to tell one’s own story with that intensity of emotion in every scene. (Also, Westover’s academic training is in theology and history, not creative writing. Have you ever read the writings of a historian? They spend their lives in mildewy archival basements reading the driest prose known to humankind. Even the best history writers often have a layer of dust that needs to be blown off before you can get to the best of their work.)I was really moved by this book, and I’m going to recommend it to my friends who teach. I also think it’s perfect for anyone who knows the strange detachment that comes from veering off on a path completely different from your parents and family. It’s probably cliche by now to call Tara Westover “inspirational,” but the truth is this book has really stayed with me and pushed me to grab the reins more in my own life.
One person found this helpful
Maree LaRue –
4.0 out of 5 stars
Compelling and thought-provoking memoir
I’m not sure I can say anything that hasn’t already been said about this book, but I felt compelled to leave a review anyways. As the March pick for my office book club, I took copious notes: 86 highlights is my current record for a Kindle book.Before starting, all I knew of this book was that the author was raised as a Mormon survivalist, yet she rose to a college education. I wasn’t expecting just how much detail would go into that Idaho upbringing. As well, the book was funnier than I was expecting!”It began near the end of canning season, which other kids probably called ‘summer.'” They were canning peaches, which this Texan was delighted by.Last year I got hooked on “Call the Midwife” and so I was intrigued by the midwifery focus throughout the book. The occupation also brought up the first contradictions I began to notice throughout the novel. Which, while annoying, also made the book seem more human for its fallibility.”Dad didn’t believe that women should work, but I supposed he thought it was all right for Mother to be paid for midwifing, because it undermined the Government. Also, we needed the money.”When reading a book like this, an outsider’s perspective of “regular life” puts a spotlight on things we always took for granted. It’s not just having new clothes and 13 years of grade school. Tara didn’t have a birth certificate or regular doctor visits. I may be a bleeding heart liberal, but everyone should have the same access to basic necessities and documentation like that.”It felt oddly dispossessing, being handed this first legal proof of my personhood: until that moment, it had never occurred to me that proof was required.”It may be disrespectful, but I chuckled every time the Illuminati were mentioned. I kept reading it as an adult version of the boogeyman, and just as ridiculous. Always looking for someone else to blame, that can never be found and brought to justice.Point of shame: I had trouble keeping all of the siblings straight. They seemed to come and go and acquire new traits throughout the novel. I only read it in a few sittings, so that wasn’t the issue. I grew up with just one brother and acquired some step-siblings along the way. Of course, my parents still called us by each other’s names. How did Tara’s parents never do the same with so many more children to keep track of?Overall, this was a very fascinating book that made me think about a lot of advantages I had taken for granted. I loved the author’s honesty and in-depth self-reflection. She had struggled and struggled hard. The inconsistencies and some hypocrisy kept this from being 5 stars. If she liked someone, they were forgiven for nearly everything (homeschooling, staying religious, technology) while others were left in the cold.
Amazon Customer –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great Read!
Is our Modern world dangerous to the future of humans? In a constantly changing world, distrust grows and questions arise if innovation is truly beneficial. The book Educated by Tara Westover portrays what it’s like to grow up in a family which feeds her anti modern world ideas. The book is set in the 90’s on the base of a mountain called Buck’s Peak in rural Idaho. Tara’s family, 5 siblings and her parents, are extremely religious mormons. Her dad, the leader of the church, lives a devout life and forces his family to do the same. He follows mormonism completely and puts his own spin on it: not going to hospitals, not taking modern medicine, not getting his kids birth certificates, and not allowing his kids to go to school so they are not, “brainwashed by socialists and illuminati spies.” (42) Tara tries to blindly follow her dad and have the same ideas as him, but she starts to question if her Dad’s conspiracies are accurate more than her other siblings, causing a conflict between the two.This drastic contrast between the outside world and Tara’s family is what makes this book so interesting and drew me to read it. Their family is so different from what I grew up with, exposing me to a completely different way of life. I have never actually fully listened to someone’s experience like this, and it really made me think about the future of our world. Tara’s dad is convinced that the end is near, but he’s not preparing for a zombie apocalypse. He’s preparing for the end of the modern world. He stockpiles rifles, fuel, and food, convinced that if the modern world fails, his family will do great.It was eye opening to be able to read this first hand account of the real influence your parents and environment has on you. This influence is seen with Tara’s siblings, who fully believe her dad and criticize her for not doing the same. Tara slowly loses some of her connection with her siblings when it becomes apparent that she questions her family’s ways, even getting a death threat from her brother. Her siblings foreshadowed Tara’s future if she stayed in the house, influencing her decision. Overall, this book allows the reader to live in a completely different style of home than we’re used to alongside her.
One person found this helpful
connieprairiegirl –
4.0 out of 5 stars
Prepare to be horrified and amazed by this memoir
The writer describes vividly her experience of growing up in a radical off-the-grid family dominated by her father, who is not only portrayed as a religious zealot, but whom she also believes to have mental issues. Her mother, who was raised in what would be termed a “normal” household, eventually seems to succumb to everything her father believes and convinces herself that she has healing powers that can be enacted just by clicking her fingers. They do have many followers who buy the herbal preparations made by her mother which eventually makes them wealthy. Her father is portrayed as a reckless man who endangers the safety of his children who work for him in a junk yard and when they are frequently injured in this work, their father believes they should only be treated at home, by their mother. Tara’s brothers and sisters all have their own issues, due to their odd upbringing. She has a brother with a speech impediment who does manage to go through college, in spite of the fact that he was supposedly home schooled. The writer describes the home schooling as little more than having a few old textbooks from various subjects that they would look at, from time to time, with their mother occasionally trying to teach them a few things. The oldest brother is described as very abusive to women, and she suffers at his hand, multiple times. By the end of the book, the writer is a PhD, and has experienced another life, first at BYU and then as far away as Cambridge. She seems to have come a long way, though she’s sacrificed much of her family by turning away from the beliefs of her parents. Even with all the horrendous experiences she describes, she still appears to suffer from the separations with her family. She describes her father as nearly brilliant, and still admits to strong feelings for him and her mother at the end of the book. She is still young and it appears she still has quite a distance to go to resolving all her conflicts and emotions regarding her family. It would be interesting to see how she feels about her life, in another 10 or 20 years and if she’s been able to have any sort of reconciliation with her parents, on her own terms. Since growing up in a small community in Montana exposed this writer to a few families of this sort, I feel great compassion for her. A close neighbor of ours was a religious fanatic and his wife ended up in the “insane asylum” as it was called back then, many times. Their sweet daughter, whom we cared for during one of her mother’s hospitalizations fell for a guy who ended up in prison for committing a violent crime. I’ve often wondered about her life now, and hope, as I do for Tara that they find their way to a peaceful place.
One person found this helpful
Yours Truly –
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Must-Read!
This is a compelling memoir not only for the extraordinary story it tells but for the author’s ability to share the emotional journey she took as one of seven children in the home of survivalist parents who made no effort to ensure her education. Westover’s maternal grandparents were horrified when their daughter married her rough, farmer boyfriend. Although all of them were Mormon, it was clear that he was a person apart from the community, and later, Tara recognized that he was certainly unstable and possibly mentally ill.This did not deter him from becoming the absolute patriarch of his family. Distrustful of the government and medical establishment, he did not even register her birth until she was nine. Siblings taught her how to read—the Bible and the Book of Mormon.Although I was curious about survivalists and about Mormonism, I was unprepared to learn about these things from the inside out, as it were. Her father, living in Idaho, had clearly internalized the botched government attempts to address the family of Randy Weaver, but his paranoia was his own. And like a lot of zealots, he carried his family along with him. Until you read about the internal family dynamics, it’s difficult to imagine how her mother could have been convinced to become a midwife with no medical training. But that’s what happened. She was forced to observe another midwife, and despite having no interest in it, assisting that midwife until she established her own (lucrative) practice among survivalists.Later, she became a preparer of homeopathic medicines and then a healer who used some sort of click technique to channel the power of God.Only by reading this book can you imagine what courage and audacity Tara developed to earn her doctorate in history, but it’s all here—from preparing and acing the ACT exam to get into college at around 17 to finally earning a doctorate from Cambridge University. Although this memoir did nothing to soften my attitude toward survivalists (and patriarchs), it did make me sympathetic to the Mormon educators and elders that the author encountered. Where else but an institution like Brigham Young University might she have found the sympathetic guidance to face her academic inadequacies and social awkwardness? And where else might a teacher spotted her as someone with enormous potential?Fortunately, the author doesn’t take herself too seriously, and the narrative is full of amusing stories that help balance the bleakness. One of my favorite asides came early in the book when Tara, having been taught by her father that no one but a whore reveals what is below her collarbone and above her ankles, encounters her first roommate. The young woman is wearing a tank top and sweat pants with the word JUICY across the derriere. Somehow, she Tara plunges forward into the next phase of her education. What an inspiration!
One person found this helpful
Jessica Bancroft –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Soul searching and poignant
Incredibly well written account of a young girl’s struggle to become her own person amidst a family wrought with mental illness, abuse, loyalty, and betrayal.
S. de Freitas –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Heartbreaking and uplifting
Westover is an engaging storyteller and sophisticated writer and even though this is her first novel, I imagine anything she chooses to pen will always be good. But this story, so intensely personal, fraught with both love and fear and maturity handles the complicated skeins of relationships, particularly abusive ones, with both honesty and compassion and that is a talent to marvel at.It is easy to reduce people into oversimplistic labels of right or wrong, good or bad, but with a remarkable and painful self awareness Tara Westover bravely demonstrates how people can be both and how disastrous and subtle the impact of these extremes can be on the personalities we each carve out for ourselves.Personally, I’m only a few years older than Westover and I found myself locating myself in time alongside some of the events that take place in her life. Particulalry the most dramatic or jaw dropping events. I wondered if I were in her shoes, how would I have fared. Pretty sure not well.On the surface, this is a great survivalist story as well as a coming of age story, but I believe overall it’s a story about family. Paraphrasing one point that neatly encapsulates the conflict, her father tells her he loves her and she replies “I know. That was never the issue”Education becomes a lifeline, sometimes a really painful one and we’re also shown what a privilege being educated is. Our first education is always through our families, however good or bad they may be, and Westover accurately portrays the difficulty in sometimes incorporating what we learn from our families, versus what we learn external to them, including what we learn about our personal selves.Her memoir is inspiring and gracious and generously fair to both her family and her religion. I respect this even as I doubt I’d be able to show such generosity of spirit if this was my story.But in some ways I think it is ALL of our stories – how we all have either conformed to or broken away from the heavy expectations of family to live as our selves.I am glad Westover found good people and reconnected with family that it was safe to reconnect to. I imagine her journey of healing is still ongoing and I wish her the best.As for the toxic elements of her past… part of me would love to see the family business boycotted, but mostly I wish those people could truly change but I can sadly accept that they will not and in some ways they likely cannot. There are limitations imposed by tradition, beliefs, economic status and in many ways, their education5 stars.
2 people found this helpful
Lyle –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Stunned
I don’t often offer a 5-star review to many books. To me, a five star review means a book that I would wholeheartedly recommend to anyone. I usually think deeply, after I have finished a book, and think about whether the book has changed my viewpoint, or what I would do differently after reading it, and whether the book had a profound influence on the way I live, think, or speak. This book was different. This book won’t likely change the way I act or live, or even think about certain subjects- but the elements of the story Tara Westover has shared are shockingly familiar to me. It’s the story of living with bipolar disorder- seeing it’s influence on a family, especially to the next generation.As the youngest son of a bipolar father, I have no words when I tell people about my childhood. It’s difficult to express to people why I don’t have a relationship with my father. “It wasn’t all bad…” is a phrase I have used a lot. I honestly don’t know how to tell the countless horrific scenes; the endless cycles of emotional abuse, and the strength of my own mother who was strong enough to break the cycle. “It wasn’t all bad,” to me, has always disguised the fact that all too often, it was bad. Tara Westover has told her story in a way which will resonate with children of bipolar families, victims of abuse both physical and emotional, and so many others. This 5-star rating was different for me. There was no hesitation; no deep thinking. There was an almost desperate quickening pace to the book as I saw Tara’s story unfold… that I wanted to finish her story, for she has found the words- the strength and daring- that I could never find. 5 stars.
15 people found this helpful
John Pucher –
4.0 out of 5 stars
Very impressive, heart-wrenching autobiography but extremely depressing throughout.
This is the truly astounding, almost unbelievable but true story of one of the most challenging lives I have ever read about. It is brutally honest in so many ways. The father and older brother are extremely cruel, violent, and abusive throughout the book, from start to end. In almost every chapter, something terrible happens to Tara, the author. At times, it was so difficult to read that I had to take a break, so it took a while for me to finish the book. What bothered me most about the book is that it seems to suggest that children have an obligation to stick with family no matter how violent, abusive, cruel, dysfunctional, mentally ill, and destructive they are for the children. Dozens of times in the book, the author Tara decides to forgive the violence done to her because she cannot bear leaving her family. Even after she gets her Ph.D. at Cambridge University. In so many societies, there is extensive physical, mental, sexual, and spiritual abuse of children and spouses precisely because those who are abused are too attached to the abuser, knowing they will continue to be abused, but not being able to break off the relationship. It is truly amazing what Tara was able to accomplish by the end of the book in spite of all these problems with her family. But it would be a huge mistake to follow her example in allowing the horrendous abuse over so many years, even when she got older and could indeed have left the family like two of her brothers had done. Overall, I found this book to be profoundly upsetting and not at all uplifting, not even at the end, although Tara finally, in the last chapter or two, with her life situation, largely thanks to restoring and strengthening her relationship two of her brothers and two of her aunts. Most of this book is how children can be so addicted to and dependent on their families that they will allow even the most horrendous abuse. I kept wishing throughout the book that she would leave the family to end the abuse, but if she had, this story would not be so incredibly fascinating.
One person found this helpful
BVO –
5.0 out of 5 stars
I have found freedom
This book could be my life story- adding sexual abuse. I have found the strength, courage and freedom to correct the generational abuse, to help my children find healing. To fight for those currently in it, and the future generations. I will not be silenced or manipulated by guilt, shame, or fear. I can finally reconcile the parts of me, and let go of the pieces that do not serve me. Unchain the shame, guilt and fear that bind and silence me.It hurts to know that we are not alone, but it feels hopeful ţo know that there is so much possibility.Thank you for your bravery, your honesty, your beautiful mind and education.If ever I believed that things were preordained, it is that you were meant to write this book. I wish you could see the magnitude of lives that you have saved and changed for the good. Those you have inspired to push myself and my children to never stop learning, to take every opportunity to become more Educated! I wish I had read this sooner, been able to attend one of y our lectures or signings. I grew up near your family. I knew of them, know of them. I was older than you by 9 years. Many in my family learned under, and revere your family as healersand prophetic. They use this knowledge to manipulate and subject others. I’m so proud of you! I hope to become even a fraction of the brave, educated woman that you are.
15 people found this helpful
Iuri Colares –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Liberating oneself from the chains of tradition and family beliefs and loyalty
I liked to read Tara’s memoir of her journey from the youngest daughter of a family which is culturally dominated by beliefs originated 4000 years ago in nomadic tribes in the Arabic desert and which is clinically dominated by the mania and the aggressiveness of bipolar disorder and by the thinking of persecution of schizophrenia.I liked to understand and realize that education is a wonderful Way for comprehending yourself, your family, your society, your culture, your tradition, your psychological setting and your environment to have better diverse, balanced and rational perspectives to choose who you want to become and to become the person you want to become.I liked very much Tara’s writing style, melodic, symphonic, sometimes almost poetic, transparent, trustful, humble, sometimes doubtful of her own memories and thoughts, vivid, dramatic, and philosophical.Tara’s story might help people to better understand who they are and inspire them to make themselves a fundamental change in their lives, as well as it might help the world, the public opinion, and people in position of leadership to better understand the dramatic lives of people isolated from education and health services.I recommend this book to everyone who wants to understand how the power of tradition and culture and the dependence and necessity of approval that children need from their parents oppress them and make them feel unfit when, in fact, parents have their own traumas but don’t recognize them, and therefore oppress children to believe in what they believe, to be what parents wanted to be and not what children naturally are and want to become.Tara’s story, backed by the authority of her own dramatic life and by the understanding she developed by studying and comparing different world views of many philosophers through history and by discussing them with fellow scholars, young and mature, contrasted with the reality of her own experience, makes us reflect on the oppression of deep-seated prejudices of outmoded religious creed, no more appropriated for the modern and enlightened contemporary society, such as the old-fashioned disregard of women dignity and of homosexual love and family bond.I gave this book 5 stars because of the extraordinary quality of its writing, the essentiality of its subjects, with the potential to liberating oneself and many community selves from the chains of tradition, religion, culture and family beliefs which impose obstacles to oneself to see the light, to understand one’s inner self, to be free, and to be happy. It’s a good companion to read after the Bible.As Tara is still a young writer and this is her first book, I expect to see what more she contributes to the history of philosophy and to the social sciences in the future.
laura –
5.0 out of 5 stars
As a atheist city girl
This book has left quite an impression on me. Throughout the entire read I was simply mortified that people lived this way. Frustrated when the author would not stand up for herself, or when others simply would not listen to logic. Even though I know that with just logic and facts, you cannot change a person’s mind.Her experience at first felt so removed from me, how could I ever relate to such “backwards” people? People who put their children in danger, and people who distrusted the entire world simply because ONE human man told them to. Then I started to see similarly in my own life. After all living in America means that almost everyone one you know is religious. Everyone believe in things I find absolutely absurd, and in turn I am also absolutely absurd in my own disbelief. Apart from religion, many women I know have gone through abuse. Lost their own confidence of their mind, or grew up never having gaining it. I remember people I know doing mental gymnastics to justify what has happened to them. Abusers cultivate their power through time and by breaking down people. So many techniques which work were visible in this tale, and I cannot negate that power.Even though I cannot understand these people, or their ways, I was able to see a bit into the lives of people who live vastly different from me. I could see another point of view, way of living, and ideas I had never really pondered. A guilty part of me found happiness in reading this book. Happy that I do not live around people who want to restrict my freedom, my mind, or my safety. That I have people around me who love me unconditionally and would do anything to make sure I was physically safe. There is this relief that I was not born into such an environment, because as a female I would hate being restricted in the way many religious people restrict women.The writing is fun and immersive from the way she describes the mountain in the prologue, to lessons which shaped her in ways she did not even understand in ch. 6 and even the way she describes the relation between horse and human in ch 11. Her painting of how she viewed the world was beautiful. This includes the people she decided to describe. She shows how multi-faceted people are, how complicated situations were, and how no one was solely a saint or a devil.In the end, this story was gripping and full of characters that I hope I never turn into or meet. It was illuminating and I am glad to have read it.
S. Warfield –
5.0 out of 5 stars
One of the best books out this year
This is an amazing story of one woman’s growing up years in an abusive home where both parents had mental health problems as well as an abusive brother. I couldn’t put it down and lost hours of sleep staying up to finish Tara Westover’s memoir, “Educated”.I have to admit that “A Million Little Pieces” ran through my mind a few times, but when I read that this book had been fact checked, I put that suspicion to rest. This kind of abuse and worse really does happen to people. It’s a dark story that some can’t stomach and others find too depressing, but I found it to be an incredibly insightful look at how someone can extract herself from a home where religion is taken to the point of abuse and where a mother snaps her fingers three times and gets answers. When children are isolated in homes like this, don’t go to school, they know no other way which answers the question why they didn’t leave sooner.Tara’s mother mixed and made her tinctures before home schooling her children and before protecting them from each other. The father was ill to begin with and doled out abuse as he saw fit. Neither parent had insight into their own behavior or the consequences of it. Despite the father’s distrust of the government, medicine and education, three of his children have doctorates, but Shawn was left to suffer a life of inflicting abuse and violence on others. He needed help badly but was protected and had his acts covered up by the parents. They might as well have told him to do it all over again.Things seemed to look up for the parents as they made more and more money from Mother’s concoctions and built on to their house. Apparently making as much money as possible wasn’t against any of their religious or social beliefs. As for the early education of their children, they just didn’t care.This book is written beautifully. It is compelling, intriguing and heart breaking. Tara’s struggle to leave and to pursue her education is uplifting and a testimony, however difficult, to the human spirit. Her sadness at being ostracized from her family shows her very human need to belong. An excellent and compelling book that I won’t soon forget.
One person found this helpful
Craig J –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Heartwrenching
Well written and a true journey of growth and realization. Families are a strange dynamic and I am amazed not only at her perseverance, but the way others refuse to bend. This story is relatable in so many ways to my family dynamics growing up. Not necessarily violence but definitely gaslighting and verbal/mental abuse. This book helped me clarify a few things in my decisions over the last few years concerning my own parents and one of my siblings.
3 people found this helpful
Ellen Wuertz –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Powerful
I found myself rooting for the peace that Tara eventually experiences. Thank you for sharing yourself this way Dr Westover!
Karyn D –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Moving memoir
A heart wrenching journey of a beautiful mind. This author is amazing and her story of both shocking and enchanting.
L. Davis –
5.0 out of 5 stars
A unique personal struggle
Halfway through Educated: A Memoir he described an occurrence, as she remembered it, in her journal. Her brother, Shawn, then described to her the event in a completely different way. She wrote that description on the opposite page of her journal. She made the point that neither account referenced or superseded the other. To her it was a pivotal moment in her life, and her first step towards freedom. I reread the passage several times, and discussed with my wife. She wrote her own remembered account first, so why write her brother’s account without any mentioning of its falseness? Why call it an incipient act of freedom?By the time I read the last page I understood this, and much more.Her story is an incredible epic of the first thirty years of her life. She enrolled in college at the age of 17 with no formal schooling and the barest minimum of family home-schooling. Ten years later she earned her PHD from Cambridge. Along the way she had to learn the basics from everything from bubble test-sheets, to hygiene, medical care, social graces and friendship.She writes straightforward accounts of terrible accidents in her father’s scrapyard, on the highway, and at constructions sites. He weaves a description of a dysfunctional family that somehow functions. It is a caring family, which is careless with how the effects of its actions on each other. Out of familiar chaos emerged not one, but three offspring with PhDs. Sprinkled along the way are unexpected vivid descriptions of her Idaho home, of Cambridge dinners or her foreign travels.She touches on her studies infrequently, but meaningfully. As an undergrad she learned for the first time of the civil rights movement, feminism and the holocaust. She struggled to acquire the simplest skills of a college student, succeeding enough to impress her professor and to win an honor semester in Cambridge. Afterward she won a Gates Cambridge scholar ship to do her graduate work at Cambridge.Much, out of necessity, is touched upon without elaboration. There are the people who have help her along the way, and the friendships that developed. Also, are the writings of thinkers and scholars that intrigued her and gave her insight into her own struggles. Finally, is her nervous breakdown that nearly ended her chance of earning her PhD. In each case she says just enough to further the main message of her story.Her story is one of struggling for freedom from the life, and family, she found herself in. Her arguably deranged and domineering father had the deepest hook into her. Her mother and one brother also played dominate rolls in family dynamics. Her sisters and sisters-in-law also appear in recounting her odyssey to liberation.As a student of history, she struggles to see a truth she can accept in the in the stories of others. She mentions angry tirades against her parents, but her account is free of rancor. She loves her parents and, in their way, they love her. Her struggle, and liberation, came down to understanding the gulf of difference between them.Tara Westover’s story is unusual among similar freedom-from-mental-oppression stories I’ve read, but it has given me much to think about an perhaps reread. I plan to give this book to someone I know who has her own family struggle.
31 people found this helpful
Turesa Lewis –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Compelling Story
I am an avid reader, when I read a compelling story I can’t stop reading until the story is completed. At first it just didn’t seem real as I read each chapter. I needed to know what was going to happen next. I suggest every family read this book. I started to relate to the story teller in her search for herself. I to am in search of myself. A family is often said to be the group of people who protect and provide shelter as well as other support. But not this family. I was appalled to read the power of her Dad and how he would manipulate her thoughts. But parental control can and will do that and could be negatively or positively. Her father worked to instill fear in her and her siblings. The abuse of her brother touched me. And angered me too. The impact of her environment interfered with her education which was discerning. And yet she was able to seek the help she needed to further her education. I’m looking forward to reading some of the suggested reading as well.
7 people found this helpful
Lori D’Amico –
5.0 out of 5 stars
A Stunning Read!
Until now, I have never asked myself whether the act of writing a great book could be considered a miracle. In this case, I believe the answer is a resounding “YES!” To be able to go from absolutely no formal education AND a traumatic upbringing (where not only your emotional well-being but your physical safety is at risk) and then to be able to gain admission to college both in the U.S. and abroad by sheer determination and self teaching takes a special person with an enormous amount of courage and strength! Tara Westover’s childhood and adolescence was unconventional on so many levels. Raised in the Mormon faith, her family was typically devout but atypical in the extreme choices her parents made because of that faith. For instance, I’ve heard of believers who don’t believe in traditional medicine and will treat their illnesses and injuries at home to a great extent. But these are illnesses like chickenpox, a cold or flu or migraine headache. These are injuries like a surface cut or a twisted ankle or sore back from lifting something the wrong way. NOT things like very premature births at home, falls from significant height, major disfiguring burns, and head injuries that forever alter one’s personality or mental state as the result of brain trauma. Most people in these situations, including people of faith WOULD seek medical attention if safety and life were on the line. But Tara’s parents are not “most people.” This book captivated my attention and was never lacking in that even towards the end of the book when you don’t typically see anything particularly surprising. This true story is an exception. Also, I continue to be impressed with the quality of the writing given the author’s lack of traditional education or formal homeschooling during her formative years until she struck out on her own on a journey to not only get educated but find her true self!
14 people found this helpful
Cerebrality –
5.0 out of 5 stars
The triump of secular education over religious fundamentalism
This book is an intimate, firsthand look at the struggle of advancing beyond the background one is born in. Tara’s memoir tells the story of her upbringing in a fringe, impoverished, survivalist, religious fundamentalist, conservative, homeschooling Mormon family, and the family’s opposition to her self-determination to seek higher education. The Westover family is so unconventional that they differentiated themselves from what they called “mainstream Mormons”. They also oppose the formal medical establishment to the point of self-sabotage. The main antagonist is her older brother, Shawn, who develops a vicious habit of bullying Tara after he sustained permanent brain damage after a serious car accident. This conflict between Shawn and Tara exacerbates the already existing Westover family dysfunction and is the main narrative arc. The heart of the memoir follows Tara as she navigates acculturation within academia and the world outside of her sheltered childhood; first at BYU, then Cambridge, and finally Harvard before returning to Cambridge to finish the PhD. The obstacles that her family dysfunction poses, especially the gaslighting of her parents, are constantly at odds with her academic progression.This book reminds me of an excerpt from another book I had read, ‘Colleges & Universities: A Very Short Introduction’ by David Palfreyman & Paul Temple. The authors write: “Graduates from low socioeconomic backgrounds face a price in terms of social and family disruption; they are ‘class migrants’ moving from a working-class background and taking up middle class careers and lifestyles”. Tara’s memoir details a real-life example of this ‘family disruption’, illustrating the ordeal of leaving behind one culture and its worldview for another.
15 people found this helpful
Chasbo –
5.0 out of 5 stars
Excellent weaver of stories
I couldn’t put the book down. Finding the pathway out of gaslighting. Very brave. I often feared what accident would happen next.
M D Tuch –
3.0 out of 5 stars
Living off the grid is not what it seems
Living off the grid is not what it seems. There are lots of real hardships and many of the things that we take for granted are forfeited. Everyone sacrifices. Especially the children. Especially when the patriarch is mentally ill. ‘Educated’ is a mishmash of extremes. There is the extremist view of religion by Tara’s father. The despot begins preaching to his seven children from infancy. He alone knows what is morally righteous, acceptable. Of course, this is from his perspective, since he claims to have a direct connection with the Almighty. His wife is basically a sounding board that her husband’s precepts are infallible and therefore beyond reproach. But Gene Westover is sick. His bipolar brain sees himself as a prophet and provider. He is dangerous in his religious outlook that God will provide safety. He risks the kids’ lives as they work in his junkyard. It is amazing that there are no fatalities, although the serious accidents that inevitably occur are met only by his wife’s healing tinctures. Hospitals are vestiges of evil and therefore off limits.*Spoilers ahead*His doctrines are absorbed by the kids in various degrees. Three manage to break loose by adulthood and lead lives of their own. Four do not. Of the four, Shawn is the worst. A maniac that runs red hot, then ice cold. He is an abuser and often mistreats his younger siblings, even hurting them if they do not do as he says. He considers Tara to have whoring ways and repeatedly assaults her. When she gathers the courage to tell her parents they don’t believe her. They insist that she lies. She is evil. They turn the family against her. I must believe that as they grow up Shawn’s children will be at risk. His wife already is.Tara’s story is well documented. The writing is solid but not especially striking. Descriptions and explanations can be vague and sometimes inefficient. The beginning is very interesting as the author explains the conflicting features of her home life. As her story progresses the writing becomes a bit disjointed. It doesn’t flow and I thought at times it sounds like an essay on ‘What I did Last Summer’ but that would be in a nightmare. As she goes through her early teen years, she enumerates the deplorable escalating abuse by Shawn and her parents. When she begins her accounting of her education at BYU and Cambridge the story takes on a monotony that slows the pace of the book. This, together with her continuous fence sitting on the issue of tolerating her parents demands in her life, become frustrating. She makes multiple trips back home, only to be abused or rejected again. Through it all she believes she can fix the injustices of the past. Her family repeatedly stonewalls her. What makes an intelligent woman fail to confront the truth, that repeated mingling with her damaged family members cannot be fixed and is not in her best interest? The ending is sort of an unsatisfying sigh of resignation.
9 people found this helpful
V-TEAM –
4.0 out of 5 stars
The Great Awakening of Tara Westover
In her stirring autobiography, Tara Westover comes to terms with her past and her family, run by a religious zealot who demands blind acceptance of his beliefs by all who live under his roof. He overpowers his family through manipulation, fear and threats of damnation. I empathized with Tara and quickly swiped the pages to read how she weathered her challenging environment.Home-schooled sporadically, Tara was raised without any form of public education, which her father believes is government propaganda; but being a bright, inquisitive daughter, she has had a burning need to create her own truth and not blindly adhere to the narrow view of her authoritative father. Her father, Gene, operates a junkyard in Idaho, and her mother is the local midwife who makes her own homeopathic oils and salves to treat her family’s maladies because Gene equates modern medicine with poison. Scientists and doctors, he insists, are led by Satan. The family spends their hard-earned dollars on a cache of weapons and food as they prepare for either a government invasion or religious apocalypse, whichever comes first. On the job site, Gene puts his children in harm’s way to stretch their limits – often to the point of bodily harm. Gene disconnects the family from all government agencies and cannot even remember when Tara was born, for she never had a birth certificate until years later. Although his negligence is palpable, Westover paints a rounded portrait of him: a misguided man with bi-polar disorder, whose children love him and respect his strength of character especially after he is seriously burned in a fire.To make matters more difficult for Tara, she must endure numerous incidents of physical abuse from her violent brother, Shawn, who manhandles her and other women in his life to put them in their place and to prevent them, he says, from becoming “whores.” Her parents’ refusal to acknowledge Shawn’s mental illness and abusiveness later becomes a sticking point for her as she wrestles with her parents’ alternative facts – at one point even doubting her own sanity. She experiences some support from her mother and older sister, but both fold to the demands of their patriarch, who writes Tara off as damned. Even her sympathetic older brothers tread lightly around Gene. Through the family’s memory of Shawn’s actions, Westover sheds light on the fallibility of memory. People can witness the same events but remember them in extremely divisive ways, often to confirm their own biases.What does not kill her makes her stronger, though, and after she digs her heels in and studies on her own for the ACT, she begins her journey into formal education all the way to the acquisition of a doctorate from Cambridge. No easy task for her, for Tara must straddle two different worlds, neither one comfortable for her. Her journey is long and arduous as she struggles to recover her self-esteem and self-worth and to feel like an authentic scholar instead of an impostor raised in a junkyard. Returning home becomes more difficult as she is unwilling to meet her father’s demands: to live within the prison of the mind he built for her. She cannot bring herself to trade her reality for her father’s reality. Unfortunately, he will accept nothing less than absolute submission to his point of view.Her story is moving, powerful, downright elegiac. I highly recommend this book.
26 people found this helpful
Henry Coles –
5.0 out of 5 stars
If only we were all so brave
I finished this memoir and curtly gave it a five-star rating, without a review, not exactly because I thought it deserved five stars, but because I realized how much reading it has changed me. No book after which I’m not the same man should be given less. Then an email came in showing me the myriad harsh reviews, accusations of exaggeration and falsities, and the labelling as “controversial.” So I decided to write this review.I remembered my own story, which made me hanker to read this book in the first place. Though I was never a victim of child abuse, I was brought up in a harsh environment in which tradition and religion played huge roles and that I now try my best to forget while at the same time regretting leaving the place I was raised in behind. Unlike Tara, I was fully homeschooled by my mother and eventually went to college then medical school, which I graduated this year. I look back everyday and could never make sense of why and how things played out this way. I tell myself everyday I don’t deserve any of this. Just like Tara, I’ve felt like an impostor most of my life, that I’ve gone places and been granted things a million other people are worthier of. I could never make sense of it. I long for the day I’d come to terms with how I got here and why I am here at all, though more crucially I keep looking forward and I hope from the bottom of my heart that this not be the end. This can’t be the end, I tell myself. I’d gone into medicine only to please the family of doctors for whom this line of work, this kind of life had been the only way to go for me since I was a child struggling to wrap my head around his parents’ verbiage-laden chatter over dinner every night after a long day’s work. I internalized the idea that because my parents were doctors, and they said every one should become a doctor, I could not become anyone else. Now it all looks like a deep blur, from one day when Mom was homeschooling me and then the next I was in college, and finally in medical school. It pained me to read how brave Tara was despite all the setbacks, all the moments of weakness and abuse, how satisfied she is now in her career which she chose for herself against all odds, in contrast to the impressionable, compliant good boy I’ve always been. But surely there is yet time for redemption, to redeem myself by becoming my own self, while I still can. This can’t be the end.
2 people found this helpful